Postpartum Brain

Is there such a thing as postpartum brain? This would be similar to pregnancy brain. I can’t remember anything nowadays unless I write it down. And I’m having a hard time listening!

So this past weekend I was with my mother-in-law and I asked a question. I paid attention as she answered it, but then she added in extra information. She lost me then. I pretend I’m paying attention and nod, but I don’t even know where my mind is! It’s weird! So as I walk away, I think, “I wonder where the lids are... Oh wait! I think that’s what she just told me while I tuned out! Think. Think. What did she say? Oh yeah! The back of the pantry. I can’t believe I didn’t listen again!! This is becoming a problem...” (Yes. That was my though process.)

I can’t remember how many bottles I’ve given Elianna almost every night. I forgot the biscuits in the oven today and burned them. I forget all the time to take my vitamins. I repeat things over and over to David because I’m not sure if I’ve told him. I have forgotten my keys in the backseat of the car after I took Elle out and went into a store while my car was total available for anyone that wanted it! Every time I needed deodorant this weekend, I had to hunt for it in all of our 3 bags. I kept thinking, “Why don’t I just put it back in the side pocket every time so I always know where it is!?” I then use the deodorant, and catch myself tossing it on top of a pile of clothes. I turn around and it hits me what I JUST did! So I have to consciously (while my brain is on) put it in the side pocket.

Needless to say. This is a problem!! Geez.

7 Years of Sitting with You

It was my 19th birthday and I had to say goodbye to my mom (going back to Brasil) and my sister (going to England for a semester). I was at a college I was new to, a town I wasn’t familiar with, and in a state I didn’t really know anyone. After our goodbyes I was so upset I went straight to my dorm room where I cried and slept for a couple of hours.

That was when I decided I would pick myself up and go do something. I made up my mind that I was going to quit moping around feeling sorry for myself. Instead I was going to go meet some people and make some friends. There were plenty of activities going on since it was the first week of college. Checking my freshman schedule, I realized I was supposed to be at a seminar about some book about Christian colleges (which I definitely had not read). So I headed out to the small auditorium where it was being held.

Arriving at the auditorium, I realized I was very late! I had to slip in as quietly as I could and find the closest empty seat on the end. Though there were plenty of empty seats to just sit my bootie in, I decided that I would choose my seat deliberately next to someone so I could meet them. As I scanned the room as quickly as I could, I noticed a guy I thought was pretty cute. He was the one (literally)... that I would sit next to.

Since I am Brasilian and was relatively new to the US, I was not too familiar with the American term “personal space”. Though there were plenty of empty seats down the entire row, I sat right up next to this boy. No skipped seat or anything! And I thought nothing of it. Hehe! As I sat through the 5 remaining minutes of the seminar, I kept trying to think of a way to talk to him so that I could have a friend and maybe meet the group of friends I was sure he had. At the end of the talk we were instructed to group up with the people around us and discuss why we had chosen to go to a Christian college. So of course, I was in the group with this boy and a few other people. We shared a little bit about ourselves and this boy began to tell me all about how he was on the baseball AND the basketball team. I was laughing on the inside thinking this poor boy only wishes. I don’t remember much more of our conversation, but I remember I thought he was cocky and did not really want to get to know his friends (I think God probably was laughing, thinking "if they only knew"). I left that auditorium alone only to re-meet that boy a semester later in a class.

Little did I know that I had just met the love of my life. My best friend, companion, husband, and father to our daughter. I had no idea that that conversation would be the first of many. That I would choose to sit next to that man every day for the rest of my life. It’s been 7 years since that young and immature girl met her Prince Charming.

“Oh how the years go by. Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes.”

I love you forever.

PS- I was to later find out his opinion of me that day was not the greatest either. Haha! I guess we were not quite ready for one another.

A little before we were "officially" a couple, Summer 2005

Visiting David in California, January 2006

Engaged!, July 2007

During our engagement, November 2007

Our wedding day..., December 2007

Baseball times, January 2008

Happy, October 2009

Expecting our first baby, Spring 2011

Family of 3!, August 2011

A Day in the Life of a 8 week-old

Oh man.... what a day!

Had a great time hanging out and chatting it up with my friends!

Talking to Elephant, Horsey, and Glowy the glowworm

But I got worn out! Had to take a nap with my WubbaNub (a stuffed animal attached to a pacifier). Her name is E.B. (Ella Bella -her name on the box) and I love her. :)

Napping with E.B.

Little Prankster

*Written one and a half weeks ago...*

Ellie is sick! She has her first cold. It has been pretty hard to deal with, mainly because it’s heartbreaking. There’s not a whole lot we can actually do for her. Thank goodness she does not have fever (yet). We have to keep a close eye on her temperature because she is still just 5 weeks old and a fever is so serious at her young age.

Today when David came home for his short lunch break, Ellie had been fussing all morning because she didn’t feel good. He loves holding her whenever he’s home. He had asked me if I had tried swaddling her to calm her (he’s a master swaddler) and I told him no because she seemed to be getting too hot and I was afraid for her temperature. Well... as I thought he would, he swaddled her and she slept for the next 3 1/2 hours (that’s pretty normal for her when she’s healthy though)!

When Elianna started waking up, I did what I always do. I unswaddled her so she could stretch out. When much to my surprise, I found a NAKED baby!! Daddy and Ellie had played a prank on me! He had unclothed her before swaddling so she wouldn’t get too hot. But the best part was that I was laughing so hard when I discovered it which made her laugh too! And there is not much sweeter than a naked laughing baby.... :) We laughed together at each other for 5 minutes! Love it.

Little Prankster

"Sleep on the Sheets"

Advice. Please don’t misunderstand this. I welcome advice as new parents. I WANT it! But, wow! Lots of advice has come our way. I really appreciate it because I really kinda don’t know what I’m doing yet. LOL! But I’ll get there.

I have received advice on topics ranging from emotionally coping and breastfeeding to sleeping and bathing. And everything in between. Recently David and I went to the mall to return some clothes I had bought for him. The woman helping us saw that we had a newborn and she asked me how I liked those 3am feedings. As the conversation progressed, it was time for some unsolicited advice! She suggested that when I wash Elianna’s sheets, that I lay on them for at least 5 minutes before putting them in the crib so she smells me and sleeps better. Sounds worth a shot to me!

Tonight David was reading a parenting book (that at least 4 people have recommended, unsolicited. And we LOVE it!) and he ran across this quote:

“In my experience, America’s favorite pastime is not baseball, but giving unasked-for advice to new parents.”

He immediately turned to me after reading it aloud and went on to say how true it was. He then brought up the encounter we had had just a few days prior with that woman.... “It’s just like the other day babe! We go to the store just to return our merchandise and head on our way and what do we get? Sleep on the sheets.... Sleep on the sheets.”

It cracked me up! But this is how I see it. When I know something is worth telling someone else to possibly help them in something they’re going through, I’ll want to share it! I figure if we’re reading parenting books to find new ideas, solutions, and answers, then we DO need advice. Solicited OR unsolicited. So please keep it coming! :)

Birth Story

Because we were fast approaching the 42 week pregnant mark, we had to schedule an induction date for safety reasons. The week of the induction we tried all we could to get Elianna to arrive and nothing was working. I had come to terms with being induced and was just going to trust it was best. I was worried since my labor and delivery was not starting the way I had hoped, that all my plans and hopes of a completely natural delivery would have to be thrown out the window. We were scheduled to go into the hospital Thursday night to get the ball rolling so we could begin the labor process with pitocin on Friday morning. Wednesday evening I got a massage that was meant to both relax me and possibly bring on labor if the timing was right. Though this was our last resort, we didn’t expect anything to happen by that point. It was the most incredibly relaxing massage I’ve ever had!

Wednesday night I slept alright but was pretty uncomfortable. Thursday morning I woke up and tried to get some last minute things done since I knew Elianna would be here the next day. Just after noon, my mom, my grandmother, and I headed to Cracker Barrel for lunch. As we were eating, I began having very mild cramping contractions. Because I had been experiencing lots of Braxton Hicks the two weeks before, I truly thought nothing of it. I attributed it to just being nervous about the induction. After a long lunch, my mom and I took my grandma home and headed to my parents house. Though I don’t remember this, I apparently told my mother that I was feeling pretty good but that I was going to try and take a nap. That is when my mom said she knew I was in labor, though I wasn’t feeling the contractions anymore. ;)

At Cracker Barrel the Day "E" was Born!

After napping for about 45 minutes, I woke up and my contractions were back and they were a bit stronger. It was about 3:15 and my mom and I headed out to Walmart to buy an air mattress for David to sleep on later that night in the hospital. While I was there, my sister called me and I remember I didn’t really want to be talking to her, my mom was annoying me, and I just really wanted to go home because ‘I wasn’t feeling so good’. After shopping I headed home to meet David and get ready to go to the hospital. On my way home, my mother-in-law called to tell me that after driving down from Oklahoma, she was almost to my house. I warned her I was having contractions and wasn’t feeling so good. After she arrived around 4:20, I decided to inform both David and my doula of my contractions. Though they were 2.5 minutes apart, I still had no reason to think I was in true labor.

David came home just after 5:00 and at that point we knew I was in labor for real. We “sent” David’s mother away around 5:30 and shortly after, my doula came over. David called the hospital and told them we were not going in at 7:00pm as scheduled because I was already in labor. My doula, Caressa, suggested I walk up and down the stairs and squat during contractions to speed up labor. My contractions were not too severe, but I was starting to have to focus and really breathe through them. I was soooo cold between contractions that I would really shiver hard, but during contractions I would get so hot! I was getting tired of walking up and down the stairs and Caressa then suggested I lay down and rest (which is not so easy to do when your contractions are picking up. David and I laid down together and he helped me relax during contractions. Though they were only a couple minutes apart, David says that I would focus and breathe through a contraction, and then I’d start snoring as soon as it was done! Hehe! I never realized I was falling asleep though. At around 7:00pm, while still in bed, my water broke. My contractions changed almost immediately after that. I had a harder time focusing through them and as I walked around, I couldn’t keep my eyes from crossing and almost glazing over. I had to really lean into David during my contractions also. During this point of laboring, I made the comment that I wasn’t sure I could do it. My amazing doula told me that I WAS doing it! She reminded me to stay on top of my contractions and kept repeating those two things she had said over and over. They truly helped me.

Because I was dreading the car ride to the hospital so much, at 8:00pm I decided I wanted to head that way. The 30 minute car ride to the hospital is my proudest moment. I sat in the front seat with my eyes shut and David’s hand on my knee. I breathed through every contraction and it was a relatively quiet car ride. Though those contractions were some of my strongest, you would have probably never known just by looking at me. Other than when David almost ran a red light causing him to break really hard and me to loose my focus terribly! We got to the hospital at about 8:30pm and, of course, valet was closed. After parking Caressa told me that it would better for me to walk to labor and delivery if I could pass up the wheelchair. I immediately knew I would. The moment we got to the hospital door, a female police officer asked me if I wanted a wheelchair. Though I repeatedly told her no, she insisted on following us all the way to labor and delivery pushing the stupid wheelchair in case I changed my mind. I was pretty determined though. So David put our bags in the chair for her to push. Haha! A million contractions later (stopping every time) and probably about 15 minutes, we got there. We checked in and signed a ton of papers and I was finally allowed in the room.

Once in the room we met our wonderful nurse and I put one of the hospital gowns on so I could be checked and then later we had plans to get in the tub to aid in laboring and to probably deliver in. My nurse got me in the bed and asked me a list of questions. She tried to get an iv lock on me just in case it was needed, but my veins are so small, we gave up (because it really wasn’t necessary). The nurse then proceeded to check my dilation and I was a 5. A 5! I was sooo disappointed! That meant I still had 5 more to go! Everyone tried to convince me it was good, but I wasn’t buying it. Then my midwife came in and after about 10 minutes, I lost my focus during a contraction and my body began wanting to push. My midwife wanted to check me, but I kept telling her I was only a 5. Well, she checked me and only about 15 minutes after being a 5, I was at a 9!!! They called for the cart to come in and got things ready for me to push. The tub was just finishing filling up, so we scrapped that idea! David sat at the end of the bed with the midwife so he could catch Elianna as she was born. And the pushing began. After pushing for about 45 minutes, David pulled her out! It was such an incredible moment for both of us. She was placed on my chest and I fell in love. I kept saying, “she’s mine!” I also kept reminding everyone that I was scheduled to have been induced and never had to be!

Everyone told me that I would reach a point that I would want an epidural. I never got to that point. I did think it was hard and I did wonder how I’d get through it at times, but never thought of an epidural. This is probably because we were very prepared (we knew what we wanted and why we felt it was the best thing), my labor was very fast (lucky), and I labored completely at home. (I don’t think epidurals are wrong or bad, it was just a decision we had made to not have one.) My doula was such a huge help for both David and I. She truly supported us and encouraged David to assist me. She was a huge comfort to David and made him feel so much more confident as I labored in pain.

Love at First Sight...

Elianna was born with her umbilical chord wrapped around her neck, torso, and foot. My nurse and midwife were aware of this because of her heart rate. I was told that if I had delivered with an obgyn, I would more than likely have had a cesarian section. That is one of the main reasons for why we chose a natural birth with a doula and midwife. We wanted to stack the cards as much in our favor as possible. What opened our eyes to the labor and delivery we chose? Talking to a friend that had gone through it and watching the documentary “The Business of Being Born.” Watch it! It’s on Netflix.

I am sooooo happy with the way Elianna’s birth went. It was perfect. :)

Daddy's Little Girl

Elianna

"My God has answered me"

8.01 lbs ~ 22 inches ~ 6/23/2011 ~ 10:32pm